terrible things
by iseesparksfly
Summary: Austin decides to give his son some advice / or Austin tells him all about how he met his mother One shot


_**Summary; Austin decides to give his son some advice / or Austin tells him all about how he met his mother **_

_**A/N: Okay so I love the song terrible things by mayday parade and started writing this last month and then school took over my life (yay), but I felt bad because I haven't really posted anything for a while, so I quickly finished this off and here it is. Yes I know this is way too long (I don't know how I managed to spit out so much crap) and I also know that there is a ridiculous amount of rambling (I have a problem) and that the plot line doesn't seem to exist (yay for unrealistic time shifts) so I'm sorry. **_

_**"By the time I was your age I would give anything**_

_**To fall in love truly was all I could think" **_

At 5 years old Austin isn't too fond of girls.

He thinks that girls are annoying, bratty, have cooties and never play Zaliens properly.

In kindergarten Austin hadn't had the best of experiences with girls. He had yet to find one that didn't try to plait his hair _(he reassures himself that he allowed it that one time because Viking's have their hair plaited and Vikings are the epitome of cool_). He thought that, besides his mum, girls were all aliens from another planet who had come to abduct him. What other explanation was there to the fact that they were teeny-tiny and had such high voices? Aliens were the only plausible explanation in his mind.

But that all changed when he started to kind of like this girl in his class.

He hadn't noticed her at first because she was quiet but then his teacher had placed her next to him _(he heard something about her being a good influence on him). _She had her pencils neatly arranged on her side of the desk and politely shook his hand in greeting.

Of course the moment he'd seen her he'd pulled on her pigtails and then she started to _cry (his flirting evidently wasn't quite up to standard)._Luckily he had managed to stop her from crying by telling her a funny joke his dad had told him involving a monkey and a banana and her distraught tears turned into tears of laughter while he just watched as she laughed. The joke wasn't even that funny but it made him happy that she liked it so much so he decided to try and make her laugh as much as possible. She was very pretty and could even play musical instruments which he had to admit was very cool. _(She was also shy and didn't talk much, but he didn't really mind much because he talked enough for the both of them.). _

He'd talk to her almost every day and he held her hand during the class picture because she got a little nervous in front of camera and always listened to her rambles and in return she would continue to laugh at his jokes even though he'd got them from the back of a cereal _box (but he didn't tell her that because he liked being the one to make her laugh and for some reason he wanted to be the only one who could do this.)_

But he wasn't the only one because there were other boys in their class too and somehow they had found out about her love of pun jokes too. She would laugh at their jokes, so Austin promptly decided that because of this they couldn't be friends anymore.

She missed him and his jokes but when she had tried to talk to him he would just ignore her, proceeding to play Zaliens with the redheaded boy that had got multiple coloured pencils stuck in his nose on their first day and can now sneeze in all the colours of the wind.

The poor girl didn't understand why he'd done it _(Austin ignoring her that is, not the boy sticking pencils in his nose) _because even though she did like the other boys she always liked Austin the most _(but she felt bad saying that because everyone was so nice to her). _But then a vicious rumour about cooties spreads around and that ended pretty quickly, with the boys scattering and keeping their distance from anyone of the opposite gender (_of course excluding their mothers. They didn't count). _

Luckily she had found a new friend; a girl that was very loud and they balanced each other out and the two were inseparable_ (they'd even made a pinkie promise to stay friends forever and ever)_. They became best friends and she started to forget about the blond boy that she had liked so much _(even though she still got a little sad sometimes when she saw him doing colouring and scribbling outside the lines)_

Although Austin missed her _(as much as a 5 year old can miss another 5 year old)_ he didn't want to risk catching the dreadful disease either, so stayed clear of her and he in turn forgot too_. (But during that year he used to sometimes see her, with her head bent over a colouring book and her tongue sticking out in concentration so she could stay in the lines) _

His experience with girls hadn't been too great so far so Austin decides from a young age that he doesn't like them very much.

* * *

At 12 years old he starts to like girls a bit more.

However he does think they're confusing and secretive and they never tell you what they're really thinking _(But then again they're also sweet and kind and smell really, really good)_

He starts to notice things about girls that he hadn't before, things that he wouldn't feel comfortable talking about with anyone else and that he blames profoundly on hormones. At this point all of his friends are starting to get into relationships and even though they only last a week at the most, Austin still wants it to happen to him. He's fed up of being the one that has to break up with the girl on behalf of his friend, but he hasn't seen the right person.

But then a girl called Juliet transfers to their school from France and he thinks he might have just found the right person. She's tall, has long, flowing, blonde hair that reaches to her waist and he likes her voice too. Not that she speaks much English but she sounds beautiful either way. She overall pretty perfect _(Austin had to do a lot of breaking up with other girls on behalf of his friends on the day she arrived). _

That day Austin had planned to spend the majority of his day playing basketball with his best friend Dez and avoiding the advances of Lilly; a girl 2 years younger than him who would just not leave him alone. She would wait outside his classroom for him most days and although he was flattered he just didn't like her in that way. Austin was not a judgemental boy and probably could have seen past the braces and greasy hair easily enough, besides she actually had quite a pretty face. The thing that put him off wasn't her appearance, it was her creepy possessiveness. She'd get jealous if he'd so much as talk to anyone else and she'd start screaming at him which, surprisingly, put Austin off her. There was also the fact that she was practically a kid.

When Juliet had entered the classroom for the first time his jaw had dropped and Dez had remarked that he looked like he wasn't breathing. At that moment Austin forgot about avoiding his stalker and focused on getting a chance to talk to her. He didn't go to the basketball courts during break, instead he and Dez stayed in close proximity of Juliet.

Austin was trying to psyche himself up to go and talk to her and he was halfway over to the group that surrounded her when he was intercepted by a small body crashing in to him and hugging him around the waist. He was caught by surprised and stopped moving, looking down to see what had such a grip against his torso at that moment. It was the girl he had wanted to avoid; Lilly.

He sighed and started to prize her off him as gently as possible, so as not to upset her, but she just gripped tighter. He looked up over to Juliet and saw her looking over to him and smiling. He nervously smiled back, and with a new burst of energy managed to peel Lilly off him. He cheered inside and was about to carry on with his journey when the bell rang for class to start. He cursed in his mind_ (he'd never say anything bad out loud of course) _and reluctantly started to drag his feet to class, vowing to talk to her at some point.

After watching her from a distance for a few weeks and talking to her a little, Austin decided that he wanted to ask her to dance at the upcoming dance because he's developed a little _(huge)_ crush on her _(plus he kind of likes the idea of being the Romeo to her Juliet). _

His best friend, Dez, reassures him that of course she'll say yes and there's nothing to worry about _(however he also suggests that he could shoot her with cupids arrow beforehand so Austin's not sure how reliable his word is)._

Somehow his parents get wind of what he's planning to do _(Austin decides he must now supervise Dez at all times) _and tease him endlessly about it, saying that it's 'adorable' that he has a little crush on a girl. He finds it extremely awkward when they start to talk about his _feelings _just before he's about to leave for the dance and promptly runs out the door.

He sees her that evening and she's all dressed up and he has to wipe his sweaty palms on his jacket. She's in the midst of a big group of people, including the girls who admire her and the boys who are vying for her attention and for a second he wants to back out and run as fast as he can. But alas, Dez pushes him out from where he was hiding behind the punch bowl and drags him over to her.

He's standing right behind her now and he coughs lightly, making her turn to him and smile. Unfortunately everyone else had turned to look at him too and they're eyeing him suspiciously. The boys are threatened that he'll steal Juliet away from them and the girls are jealous he's not talking to them instead _(of course he naively doesn't see their pouting). _All eyes are on him when he stutters out the question quickly, fiddling with his hands in the process.

He's met with silence_ (apart from the music blaring in the background)_ and then a moment later everyone is laughing and she's walking away. She said no.

She gives him an apologetic smile over her shoulder as she leaves and the group follow after her, leaving him and Dez to stare at her retreating back.

Austin doesn't move for a moment and when it registers that she's gone he feels a surge of embarrassment and sadness hit him. He feels a hand clap his back in comfort and Dez asks if he wants to leave.

He shakes his head because his parents would just starts asking questions, so the two friends grab seats on the outside edge of the hall and Dez chatters on while Austin doesn't look for her in the crowd _(he does)._ She's dancing with lots of boys and he feels another sharp pain in his chest. Was he not good enough?

Dez had disappeared a minute ago to get them some watery punch and when he returns he says he had asked Juliet why she said no. Austin sits up a little straighter and looks expectantly at the boy opposite him. Frustratingly Dez chooses that moment to have a big gulp of his drink and gestures that he'll speak when he's gulped the punch down. What feels like an eternity later, he's finished and puts Austin out of his suspense.

"She said she didn't want to upset your girlfriend"

Austin freezes for a second in confusion. He knows he doesn't have a girlfriend so she must have misinterpreted something. He racks his brain for who she might possibly be talking about. The only girl Juliet had ever seen him with was-

And there was Lilly standing right behind him, smiling innocently with her hands clasped behind her back. She's all dressed up in a pretty flowery dress and her hair is washed and straightened but he can't bring himself to care at that moment.

He stands up and faces her. He really _really_ wants to yell and scream at her because she'd unknowingly messed up his chances with Juliet, but she's just a little kid so he stops himself. Besides it's not her fault Juliet got the wrong idea about them _(he doesn't know how because it's plain to anyone with eyes that he's not interested. Well everyone but Lilly)._She grins and takes her hands away from behind her back and he sees that in her hand she's holding a red rose. He feels a little relieved because someone must have given it to her and maybe now she'll have gotten over her little obsession with him.

But then he deflates because she's holding the flower out towards him and he realises that she wanted him to take it; She got the rose for him. He's pretty sure that it normally doesn't work that way and it's normally the guy who brings a rose, _(but_ _traditions can be broken he supposes. He just wishes it hadn't been)_. He has to awkwardly take the rose from her hand and then he has no idea what he's supposed to do next. She's still smiling up at him as he looks down at the petals but he looks up when she says in her squeaky but loud voice.

"Will you dance with me?" and although she's smiling he can see the nervousness in her eyes and for a second he can see himself a few moments ago, standing in front of Juliet with his heart beating out of his chest. He thinks about the rejection and embarrassment he had felt and sighs. He doesn't want to hurt Lilly like Juliet hurt him so he just smiles and takes her hand, walking them over to the dance floor.

It's pretty awkward and embarrassing and he can't lie that he was relieved when it was over. His friends tease him about it for weeks after but he can't say he regrets it. He kept her from getting upset like him and he knows he did the right thing _(okay may be he does regret it slightly when she goes around telling everyone that they're getting married in June)._

He tries to explain it all to Juliet but she doesn't seem to understand, just smiling at him until he stops talking, so he has to give up on her. She didn't like his jokes anyway so she can't have been that perfect _(that's what he tries to reassure himself) _

So by the end of that school year Austin is left with a bruised heart _(because really, he's only 12 and although he's upset, his heart isn't broken) _and a girl trailing after him wherever he goes. Great.

Now he has another reason to not like girls that much; they aren't to be trusted and they'll just make him sad. He figures he's better off without them.

* * *

Then when he's 17 he's completely infatuated with girls.

He's been out with a few girls, none of whom he particularly liked, but then it finally happens. He's actually in a long lasting, committed relationship with a girl who makes his heart jump out of his chest whenever she laughs.

They meet when they're paired together in a chemistry project and he discovers that not only is she pretty but she's also funny and smart too. And she seems to think he's funny and smart too _(she refuses to laugh at his pun jokes but he's determined that he'll soon wear her down)_ because not long after they first meet they start dating.

Dez is utterly embarrassing after Austin first tells him, repeating that the pair obviously had some real '_chemistry'_ whenever he sees them walking through the halls together and promptly bursting into laughter every time. She doesn't laugh.

They date for almost a year and during that time Austin feels he's never been more happy and content. They're in a never-ending honey moon period and he can tell they're turning into that annoying couple that always act so in love all the time. But he really doesn't care.

_(He can even picture the life that they're going to have together and he can't wait). _

But then the picture get a little faded around the edges.

He and the girl he feels so in love with are seeming starting to grow apart a little every day and he doesn't know how to stop it.

No one notices that anything is wrong. Even Austin doesn't until he realises that it's Friday night and he hasn't spoken to her in almost a week. Dez says there's nothing to worry about.

It's just small things. She doesn't talk to him as much _(she's stopped answering her phone when he calls and he resorts to leaving messages. Sometimes he gets a reply, but most likely not. He doesn't question it though_) or she cancels the odd date here and there _(the excuses are starting to pile up and when she cancels their anniversary date and doesn't seem to realise or care he gets a little worried)._ She acts a little different _(She dyes her hair darker and throws out the ripped jeans that Austin always loved so much)_ but Austin figures that change is fine. She's still the same person.

Although he can't deny he's starting to feel a little uneasy about their relationship and their future.

_(But like all good pictures, it can be photoshopped. The image is still clear in Austin's mind. He knows they'll be fine) _

Then things are getting worse.

They never see each other anymore _(she passes him by in the corridor. Although that doesn't seem like such a big deal and she tells him later that she was just in a rush to get to class. However he sees her look straight at him while she passes. He sees her expression. She doesn't want to stop and talk)_, she's hanging out with other people _(She doesn't sit with him and Dez at lunch anymore. She sits in the corner with some people Austin vaguely remembers being in a few of his classes. He can hear her laugh while he picks at his food from the other table and over Dez's shoulder he sees her sitting a little too close to the guy wearing the varsity jacket)_ and they just don't have time for each other.

_(Now the picture is starting to tear at the edges and rip, but Austin thinks that their love will work as perfect tape to fix it back together again)_

Unfortunately they're broken and no amount of tape can fix them now.

She isn't the same person she used to be. She's not the person that Austin fell in love with anymore and they're losing each other. The worst part is that it doesn't seem like she cares. They're still together but in every way possible they're really not. On the rare occasions they do see each other they argue with one another until their throats are hoarse. But then the fighting stops because they can't bring themselves to care anymore. At least when they fight he actually knows what she's thinking, how she's feeling. Now she's an empty shell.

_(At that point the picture is ripped into shreds and placed in the metaphoric bin labelled 'things that are never going to happen') _

So they give up.

When the inevitable happens her face is blank and she shows no emotion and that's when Austin thinks that maybe she had never loved him in the first place. He wishes he could say the same, but at one point she was his everything.  
He knows he's not exactly in love with her anymore but his heart still twinges in pain at what is happening whereas she doesn't seem to feel anything, and he's pretty sure that's what hurt the most. It takes a 5 minute conversation to end a year long relationship. They're officially broken up.

Inside he knows they've been apart way before they made it official, but it's still weird to him.  
It's also weird when he sees her kissing some guy a week after _(and also extremely painful). _He observes that she seems pretty happy and a part of him is glad. Another part of him is bitter and lonely and upset _(though he doesn't tell anyone about that).  
_

He wonders how it's possible to fall out of love with someone you once cared about so much and  
he also wonders if he'll ever find someone that will love him as much as he loves them. He doubts if true love even exists because honestly his life seems to have been a long list of relationship disasters, starting from when he was only 5 years old, and honestly he's suspicious about the whole thing.

If there was such a thing as a soul mate, why hadn't he found his yet? Does she even exist? He's losing hope even though he's only a teenager.

His mum keeps telling him that she's just around the corner (_he wonders if there's a way he can find that corner and turn it by himself because she doesn't seem to be any time soon). _

His dad tells him that he's just got to keep his eyes open _(the fear that he'll blink and miss her keeps him awake at night for weeks). _

And Dez? Dez says he should forget girls and hang out with his best friend _(he wishes he could)_.

They all tell him that she's on her way and she's getting here as fast as she can_ (he just wishes she would hurry)._

* * *

"_**That's when I met your mother, the girl of my dreams **_

_**The most beautiful women that I'd ever seen" **_

For a few weeks after the dramatic breakup_ (which honestly wasn't dramatic at all, and in truth their relationship had been broken for a long time before it was officially ended),_ Austin is in, well to put it lightly; a dark, moody state of depression and self woe. He takes the role of sad dumpee, despite the fact that technically he was the one who called it off _(but in fairness he was, at one point, irrevocably in love with her, so it made sense for him to be upset, whereas she didn't seem to give a damn)._And he plays that role extremely well, refusing to leave his house or shower or eat pancakes _(it really is that extreme) _and no one really knows what they can say or do to pull him out of his state, mostly because they don't understand why he's reacting in this way. Austin had fallen out of love with her a long while ago _(no matter how much he tried to hold on) _so why was he so distraught over them being over?

There were a number of theories explaining why he was acting this way, ranging from him just recovering in his own way _(his mom)_, him just needing a bit of space _(his dad)_ and him being cursed with a love potion which bound him to her for the rest of his life _(Dez). _Austin isn't really able to explain it to himself, all he knows is that girls just cause problems and he may just become a monk to get away from them _(but then again he still has that hope that he'll find a girl that doesn't accidently smash his heart into pieces and then walk over it.)_ He guesses that in a way he's mourning their relationship, but he doesn't really have much time to think that fact over between trying to shut out daylight and make himself an artificial night _(he doesn't even know how he remembers that line from Romeo and Juliet). _

Eventually a certain redhead decides that Austin's attitude is pretty ridiculous, even to him, and takes the matter into his own hands. He doesn't have a plan and unfortunately that fact is pretty obvious when only 5 minutes after walking into Austin's room he starts to whine with impatience. When he had first entered it had been a struggle to clamber over the piles of dirty laundry and pizza boxes _(which had been Austin's only source of nutrition)_ and make it to a spot where carpet could actually be seen _(he says seen very loosely because the room was pretty dark as the curtains were drawn closed)_. At first he didn't know where his best friend was and for a second he entertained the thought that maybe Austin had actually gone out already and had recovered. But then on the bed he sees a suspicious, Austin shaped, mound under the duvet covers, so that thought is dashed. Evidently Austin couldn't even face his bedroom anymore and had resorted to the comfort of his duvet cave.

For a short while Dez had tried to coax Austin out of his hiding place _(which was not all that different from a parent trying to coax their fussy child to eat their vegetables) _but had eventually got frustrated and resorted to more extreme methods; whining. Hoping to irritate Austin and get him to at least say something was Dez's aim however yet again there was no response, even when he started screeching _(now he really wishes he'd thought of a plan before hand). _His final tactic is to resort to plain name calling.

"_You're being incredibly boring and depressing right now"_ and _"What would Dwayne Wade think of you acting this way?_" and _"ugh you're such a meanie" _just about sums up the extent of Dez's insults _(he doesn't handle pressure well, okay)_. But the last one gets a snort of laughter from the shape on the bed and Dez decides to take that a win and pushes a little more.

"Don't you think it's time that you go outside again?" He tries to ask as gently as possible, his parent hat on once again.  
There's a grunt from underneath the covers _(which roughly translates as 'no chance')  
_Dez sighs and tries again, lowering the difficulty level a little.

"Please just try to get out of the house?" and this time he's actually graced with an answer.

"No." Says a croaky voice. So it's not exactly a response that encourages conversation, but it's a start.  
" Your room?" Dez tries this time, his confidence growing a little  
"No." And there goes the confidence again. Why is this so hard?  
"Your bed?" That's not an unreasonable request.  
"No-"  
"You know I'm starting to notice a trend here" Dez cuts him off and the room goes silent once again _(which really is an oddity when the two of them are together)._

"Why are you trying so hard?" Austin questions after the silence in about to turn unbearable, still not emerging _(but this is a conversation starter so things are finally heading in the right direction). _

"You haven't been yourself for the last month. You haven't seen anyone, you haven't touched your guitar and worse you haven't eaten a single pancake." Dez has to pause a second because of this monumental fact "Clearly it is time for me to intervene."

There's no answer.

"And plus...I kind of miss my best friend." He mumbles under his breath, unknowingly making his best friend feel a stab of guilt. It was true that Dez had never really been the most popular person, with people often thinking that he was too crazy to be approachable or that he was just a clown, and not having Austin to hang out with had made this fact startlingly obvious.

Evidently this guilt tripping technique works fairly well _(even though Dez hadn't done anything on purpose_) because there's now movement to be seen, which means Austin is considering coming out into the fresh air _(of his bedroom). _Dez decides that now all he needs to do is be patient and not say something stupid._  
_  
"Cheer up or...I'll- I'll disown you!" something stupid like that. The movement stops. Dez honestly doesn't know why he said that, and evidently nor does Austin.  
"You can't disown me-" Austin's muffled voice says.  
"Just watch me" he way as well carry on _(he's already dug his own hole)._  
But then Austin pokes his head out of his makeshift fort _(so maybe he hasn't done as bad as he thinks).  
_"No dude, friendships don't work like that-" He starts  
"DISOWNED" Dez shouts and for a second Austin isn't quite sure what to say _(Dez may have gotten a little caught up in the moment).  
_"Dez, what are you even talking about- and you're gone" he breaks midsentence because the redhead is walking toward his bedroom door and swings it open dramatically.

"C'mon! We're going out"!" Dez shouts, but then Austin's eyes widen in horror and he dives under the covers again (_he's like a stubborn child). _Dez rolls his eyes. _  
_  
"At least take a shower man, the smell is killing my brain cells" Dez says, only partially joking.  
There's a snort from underneath the duvet mountain and Austin says something that sounds vaguely like "I thought they were already extinct" but if Dez hears the remark he wisely chooses to ignore it and just rips he duvet away, forcing his friend into the open.

A moment later he pulls the curtains open and Austin groans and scrunches his eyes, not used to the brightness _(not unlike a newborn mole) _and tries to bury his face in his pillow. But immediately Dez rips the pillow from his face and throws it behind him where it disappears in the rubble of rubbish _(his tough love technique is for Austin's own good, he decides). _

Austin is sprawled across his bed, effectively resembling a starfish and his hands are still covering his eyes from the foreign thing that is light. _  
_  
"We're going to the mall in 20 minutes, so stop moping, take a shower and get dressed." Dez says assertively, but Austin just stares at him like he's mad.

"C'mon, that cute girl from the surf shop has been asking where you've been" the redhead tries to coax him.

"Okay firstly, that 'girl' is called Bill" he shudders at the thought of the long haired surfer " and I'm really not in the mood for girls right now." Austin huffs but Dez seems to be pondering something and Austin hopes that he may decided to leave him alone _(he loves him like a brother, but really he just wants to hide from everything and everyone). _

"Actually it's Billl, with 3 l's," Dez says after a solid minute worth of thinking, making Austin roll his eyes "but I still think we should go to the mall."

"Besides, girls dig the vulnerable, heartbroken puppy thing that you've got going on right now" He adds helpfully, grinning widely.

Austin sighs in partial annoyance, mostly with himself because he knows he'll give in just to stop Dez from having a go at him. Grudgingly he slowly clambers off his bed and shuffles his way half-heartedly towards the door, choosing to ignore the smug grin on his friends face.

Dez pats him on the shoulder as he shuffles past.

"You won't regret this man, I'll be the best wingman in history!"

* * *

Dez is officially the worst wingman in history.

The two friends had been talking to a couple of girls in the line to the register in the music shop that Austin had dragged Dez to immediately _(if he was going to be practically forced to come here, he was at least going to make the most of it). _There was only one cashier at the counters so the line was fairly long and after Austin refused to play eye spy with Dez anymore _("Where in this room is there a tree?" "The pianos are made of wood which come from tree, duh Austin") _they had started a conversation with the people in front of them. Both girls were tall and blonde_, (and was it just Austin or did the one of the left look a little like Cass- No, he was keeping her out of his mind)_ and they were holding lots of shopping bags in their hands. They actually seemed interested in them, which was honestly a bit of a miracle considering Austin hadn't done this for a long time and Dez was...well Dez. But none the less, they didn't seem to mind talking to them. Austin found out that the one girl had come to get her violin tuned whereas the other had just tagged along because she needed to get some dog food for her pet cat _(at this Dez nodded understandingly while Austin looked appropriately confused). _When the girls reach the counter they turn to the short middle aged man behind the counter and enquire about the tuning of the violin _(Austin had some guitar picks he wanted to buy which were of the upmost importance to him because they had zalien's on them which was freaking awesome). _

While their backs are turned Dez turns to Austin excitedly.

"I think they like us!" he whisper shouts and put his hand up to do their patent handshake. Austin shakes his head in amusement, but none the less moves his hand to connect with his best friends and simultaneously they whisper a high pitched 'what up!' before Austin becomes serious and puts his hand on Dez's shoulder as he looks sternly at him.

"Just make sure you don't say anything embarrassing about me, okay?" he urges and Dez scoffs, waving his hand in the air as if batting away Austin's worries, though this does nothing to reassure the blond, who keeps a wary eye on his friend.

They vaguely hear the man behind the counter say that he'll go get his daughter to tune the violin for them _(and Austin wonders why he can't just do it himself)_ and then the girls turn back to face them, and Austin wipes away the suspicious gaze he had set on Dez, and replaced it with a charming smile (_although it came across more nervous)_.

"You know Austin has a huge collection of stuffed toys at home" Dez says casually, winking at Austin obviously, as if it was good to say this and that they'd be impressed. Austin's eyes widened and he laughed nervously, as the two girls sent each other a confused look.

"He's kidding, he's totally kidding." He stutters, hoping that Dougie wouldn't be too mad at him for lying (_he'd apologise later, he decides)_. Unfortunately both girls just raise their eyebrows and they obviously don't believe him at all.

And then a screeching sound comes from the counter and he glances over the girls shoulder and sees another girl bent over the counter, who he assumes is the man's daughter, and is focusing on tuning the violin, although he can't see her because her hair is acting as a curtain _(and is it really odd that he kind of wants to touch her hair and stroke it and- yes, yes it is)._

Anyway, back to trying to save his dignity. He's about to tell them about his sporting endeavours, in a hope of showing them that he's macho and tough.

"Did you know that he's the prince of Moons Mattress Kingdom?!" Dez exclaims excitedly and then he gasps in realisation "We're in the presence of royalty!" and he starts to bow. Austin pulls him up by the collar and fights the urge to yell at him _(because really, things are going terribly, which is the opposite of what he needs right now). _

"Hey Austin what's the catchphrase again?" Dez asks excitedly, not noticing that his best friend was not very happy at the moment.

"Uh, I can't really remember-" Austin tries to get out of it

"Are you sure? You've been the prince for 17 years now." Dez asks in confusion

"Totally sure, I really don't remember." Austin answers, hoping that the topic can now be dropped and the conversation could move on.

"There's no hassle in my castle" a voice says from behind him _(was it just him or did they sound like they were trying not to laugh)_ and he turns to see the back of the girl from the counter, who is walking to the shelves across the store. He grits his teeth and mutters a forced 'thanks', and turns back to face two bored, but expectant girls and an ecstatic Dez.

"Yes, that's the line!" He says, practically giddy

"Uh, is it? I don't recognise it. I don't know how it sounds so-"

"British accent. Snooty laugh. Over exaggerated hand gestures" the voice interrupts him again and he doesn't even need to turn around to know who it is; The girl from the counter_ (who he still hasn't seen the face of)_.

"Thank. You." He says shortly while grimacing again and he hears her yell a cheery 'you're welcome' as she gets further and further away _(why was everyone against him today?). _

He knows that Dez isn't going to let him get away with not doing the slogan _(he really needs to have a talk with him later about what is and isn't acceptable information to share). _

He sighs, straightens his back and puts on his best british accent, moving robotically and fake smiling wildly, like a manikin. Dez is obviously amazed and claps whole heartedly and he's not the only one _(but he's going to pretend he doesn't hear the light clapping from across the store, because he's mad at her, even though he doesn't even know her)_. The girls however, are not so amazed and look on the verge of leaving. Austin sighs, it couldn't get worse than this.

"His middle name is Monica" apparently he was wrong and for a second it's silent and then there are two sets of laughter. But then, wait a second, it's actually 3, because he can see the girl who works at the store's back and her shoulders are shaking slightly in laughter_ (although she tries, and fails, to desperately turn it into a coughing fit)_. Austin rolls his eyes, his middle name really isn't that funny, if anything his parents should apologise for giving him a girl's name. He glares at Dez, regretting leaving his duvet cave more than ever, while Dez smiles obliviously, thinking he's done Austin a favour _(he figured that they were laughing, which was always a good thing, so he'd done well). _

They've obviously had enough and they turn to the counter, grab the tuned violin and dash out of the room, still laughing. Dez waves wildly while Austin just watches them leave and he hears the word 'Monica' and groans loudly to himself. For a moment he's just staring at the exit while Dez wanders off to play with a shiny harmonica that had caught his interest.

"Wow...that went well" a sarcastic voice said from his left, although there was no spite in their tone. Austin turns, prepared to glare at the girl who had made him embarrass himself, but then he sees her and his glare turns to an expression of surprise.

He forgets everything he was going to say to her because, well, she's absolutely beautiful and his heart starts to beat so loudly that he's certain she must be able hear it. But if she does she doesn't say anything and her face remains totally neutral _(and by neutral he means painstakingly attractive)._And then she smiles at him, and now he doesn't need to worry about her hearing his heart because he's pretty sure that it just stopped completely. He knows he should probably stop staring at her without blinking, but he also knows he should stop spend less time on Zalien themed video games _(but he enjoys doing both things so much that there's not much chance of that happening any time soon). _

" Monica?" She asks when he doesn't reply, and he can tell that she's trying really hard not to laugh again because she's pressing her lips together tightly _(and now he wishes he hadn't looked at her lips, because wanting to kiss someone you just met is probably not a good thing)._

At that point he does playfully glare at her though, and then she laughs pleasantly and he suddenly feels a lot more relaxed around her.

"I'm guessing you're not too great with the ladies?" she teases and he scoffs and fold his arms accords his chest

"I'm just having an off day." he protests, although it's obvious he isn't too bothered with defending his failures _(mostly because he can't even remember the girl's names, let alone care enough to be disappointed). _

"Okay, okay sure," she laughs and holds out her hand. Austin stares at it in confusion. Does she want him to shake it, or hold it _(her hand is so tiny and delicate looking and he really wants to, even though he doesn't even know her name)._

But then he realises that she's staring at the packet of guitar picks in his hand, reminding him that he was actually in the store for a reason _(and the reason was not to talk to pretty girl that works behind the counter. Or at least it wasn't before). _He hastily hands them over and is surprised as she grimaces when she sees what he's buying.

"Zaliens? Really?" She doesn't seem too impressed with his choice, and he can't help but go into protective mode for his favourite series of movies.

"Zaliens are awesome!" He exclaims "You're just scared of them" he adds, expecting her to agree with him.

"Actually, I find them completely boring, if I'm honest" she says airily as if it isn't a big deal, but then she notices Austin's expression of shock and horror and decides to quit while she's ahead.

"Wait...what?" He really does seem deeply perplexed that she could think this, but she just shrugs in response.

"I've never even made it through the entire movie before, I've either left or fallen asleep" she admits, and she at least looks a little embarrassed about the last part _(Austin thinks it's kind of cute that her cheeks go slightly pink and she starts fiddling with the cash register in front of her)_.

"Well that's why you don't like them," Austin says, acting like he's just solved some big mystery "you need to see the entire thing. The ending is the best bit." he concludes confidently

"Well thank you for your advice, but I can't just wander into a movie theatre on my own, it's be embarrassing" she said as an excuse _(there was also the fact that she knew, no matter what, that she would be bored out of her mind). _

"Well, you can come with me then!" Austin says confidently, as if it's obvious _(no one need to know that his palms suddenly turned sweaty)_

She laughs _(and she tries to ignore the little butterflies in her stomach)_

"I would love to," she starts and Austin sighs in relief "but," Austin internally sighs, she probably had other plans, or a party to go to _(or a boyfriend, but he's really hoping that she doesn't)._

"I don't even know your name." she finishes and Austin desperately tries to convince her to go with him.

"My name's Austin, what's yours?" He says hurriedly

"It's Ally, but I mean we barely know each other-" but then Austin cuts her off (_but he does allow himself a split second to think about how much he likes her name). _

"Well, Ally," he drags her name out as much as possible (_and she tries not to smile at hearing this_ _random, attractive boy saying her name)_ "Everyone is a stranger at some point, but I think that we should change that now." he finishes and then she does allow herself to smile.

She knows she shouldn't be persuaded so easily but he seems nice and he's handsome and charming and funny and he's leaving. Wait he's leaving!?

Sure enough Austin had left the money on the counter, taken his guitar picks, and was strolling out of the store.

"I'll meet you here at 7." he says, grinning at her over his shoulder, before he carries on his journey toward the door _(Ally's glad he turns around then, so he doesn't see the grin that had unintentionally been plastered on her face). _

"Just _one_ movie!" she calls after him and he turns to face her, walking backwards as he goes.

"It's a date!" he calls back and winks, before facing forward again and strolling out the music store door (_no one stops to question him about the wide grin on his face or why he's in such a good mood, just like no one remarks on the light blush that graces her cheeks for the rest of the day.)_

It wasn't just _one _movie _(It was multiple movies, and dinners and picnics and jam sessions and cloud watching sessions, which result in a huge argument over whether it was really a bunny on a bicycle, and concerts and just sitting around talking to one another about anything and everything) _and then they started getting closer _(they started holding each other's hand and hugging and piggyback riding and kissing each other cheeks, until one day it wasn't just cheeks anymore). _And eventually they're dating, officially _(because let's be honest they acted like a couple anyway) _and for once in his life Austin is completely happy because he knows that he's finally found his missing puzzle piece and she's smart and funny and adorable and beautiful and perfect to _him (and she laughs at all his terrible jokes, which is a deal breaker). _

Maybe Dez wasn't such a bad wingman after all.

* * *

"_**She said boy can I tell you a wonderful thing?**_

_**I can't help but notice you staring at me"**_

Austin had always had a problem when it came to staring at things for too long. When he was younger he'd been told that it was rude to stare, but he just couldn't help it, as everything interested him. But he didn't only stare at interesting things or weird things, he also stared beautiful things.

At first it was beautiful flowers or places or pictures_ (because let's be honest, when you're younger those are the only 'beautiful' things that seem to exist). _And then he starts to realise that there are also beautiful people (_and beautiful people seem to be all over magazines and on the TV). _And then he doesn't think that the people on the magazine are really beautiful to him, because he finally realises that being beautiful isn't just how a person looks, it also about who the person his. He finds out that to find someone beautiful you have to know them.

You have to know their quirks and their favourite things and the songs they like to dance around to in the kitchen when they're making breakfast and the songs they listen to when they're upset and the way they smile when they're truly happy.

Austin knows all these things about Ally after dating her for a substantial time.

He knows her quirks _(she chews her hair when she's nervous or thinking hard about something). _

He knows her favourite things _(she likes music and pickles and cloud watching and low humidity days and when the queue for the cinema is short and Thomas the tank engine plasters that remind her of when was a kid and him, apparently). _

He knows the songs she dances around to in the kitchen when she's making breakfast _(she likes anything that's loud and fast and positive and that she can dance, admittedly badly, to)_.

He knows the songs she listens to when she's upset _(the ones that are sad and slow and are a drizzle of darkness, in comparison to her usually bright, sunshine personality) _and he knows they way she smiles when she's really truly happy _(and it takes his breath away every time). _

So having something so beautiful, so close to him a lot of the time makes it only natural that he should stare at her quite often (_all the time). _But that doesn't stop people for commenting to him about it at any given time. Ally's best friend, Trish, says that he looks like a lovestruck puppy every time Ally so much as breathes, and Dez says that he stares at her like she's the last ham in the store _(in all honesty he's not quite sure what that means)._

One of his favourite things to do is to watch her while she's playing the piano when she doesn't notice_ (that sounds a lot creepier than it is). _He likes that, when she's playing, she's totally oblivious to everything around her and is so immersed in the music that she doesn't even notice he's looking at her, even when he's sitting right next to her. This seems to happen a lot more than he is prepared to admit, and normally she doesn't realise but then, sometimes in the rare occasion that she sees him out of the corner of her eye she'll say something _(although this has only happened once). _

"You're staring at me." she had said, still playing the piano and Austin isn't quite sure whether he's supposed to deny that fact or not _(he wonders if she'd find it creepy that he likes to just observe everything she does. Most probably). _When she reaches the end of the song that she'd been tinkering at and he was yet to say anything she had turned to look at the boy sharing the piano seat with her in curiosity.

"Why do you stare at me?" she had asked tentatively _(maybe she had noticed a few other times, but in fairness she found herself doing the same quite often). _

He'd just smiled at her and provided his explanation, as if was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Because I like to stare at beautiful things" and she'd rolled her eyes and punched him in the shoulder because he would say something cheesy like that _(although that doesn't mean that her heart doesn't skip) _while he just laughs at her reddening cheeks and wonders how she'd react if he told her that she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, but decides he would save that for a rainy day _(he didn't end up saving it for a rainy day because she'd asked him what his first impression of her was, and he's nothing if not honest)_.

* * *

"_**I probably shouldn't say this but I really believe**_

_**I can tell by your eyes that you're in love with me"**_

Everyone knew before him.

His mom had randomly asked him when he was going to tell Ally he loved her in the middle of dinner _(which resulted in him choking on his pasta and also some very red cheeks) _and he had not known how to respond. She'd been looking so expectant and excited and he wishes he had an answer _(not that he could really answer, as choking kind of rendered him incapable of speech). _When he's finished_ almost dying_ he hazards a glance at his dad at the other end of the table and notices that he is trying _(and failing)_ to look uninterested.

"How do you know I even love her?" He tries to sound as casual as possible, but the curiosity seeps through none the less.

His parents simultaneously scoff.

"The way you look at her" his mom says

"And talk about her" adds his dad

"And would do anything for her"

"And try to impress her"

"And stay up at night on the phone to her"

"And talk about her in your sleep"

"And-"

"Okay, I get it!" Austin cuts them off because he gets the point and his parents look incredibly pleased with themselves.

"Wait," he continues, realising what the last thing they had said was, "I don't talk about her in my sleep!" he says adamantly, but the glance this mom and dad share seems to state otherwise.

After he's excused himself from the table _(he'd had enough teasing about the one sided conversations he'd had while he was dreaming) _he runs up the stairs and the last thing he hears before closing his bedroom door is his parents saying,

"He'll realise soon"

* * *

Even his friends have started to talk to him about when he's going to say the three word phrase to his girlfriend, and they don't let things go so easily.

Trish teases him and says that he's being a baby, and that there's nothing to be scared of _(he's not scared, he's just briefly considered the possibility of her not saying it back, resulting in their relationship ending and him falling into a pit of despair and living with 10 cats before dying alone. Okay, maybe not so briefly). _It's more to do with the fact that the last time he had admitted he loved someone everything had gone downhill _(but on the other hand he knows that what he feels for Ally far exceeds what he's ever felt for anyone before, so it's highly likely she's the first person he's ever properly loved). _Dez spends about an hour skipping around Austin's bedroom, singing "Austin loves Ally"" obnoxiously loud at the top of his lungs_ (it was a bit awkward when the neighbour had called "We get it. Everyone knows this already" through the wall). _

Everyone did already know this already. From the mall shop owners (_Pirate Pete said that he was glad that they were finally 'maties' and that Austin should just admit that she had stolen his heart)_ to Nelson, _(who'd said enthusiastically to Austin that to celebrate him and Ally being in love he'd bought them a bird cage. It seemed he mixed up the meanings of 'love', and 'dove'. But after he'd realised his mistake he'd eagerly asked whether he'd told her yet). _It seemed that everywhere he went everyone was talking about it or asking him about it _(which was a little weird)_ and he couldn't go anywhere without hearing the words 'Austin' and 'love' in the same sentence.

He expects that she'd hear the whispers and his suspicions are confirmed soon enough when he's hanging out at Sonic Boom with her.

"Rumour has it that you love me" she had said airily, and he almost lost his footing for a second because weren't they talking about the weather a few seconds ago? She seems casual about the whole thing, but he can see that she's fiddling with her hair, as if she wants to chew it, so she must be nervous.

"They may be a chance that I," he started and then his voice went high "maybe, kinda, a little, sorta" he rushed and then his voice went back to normal again "love you".

And to anyone else that proclamation would have seemed anything but sincere and impressive, but Ally knew better. She knew that when his voice went high he was saying the opposite of what he actually meant. He was basically saying that he really loved her and she couldn't have been happier.

"I maybe, kinda, a little, sorta love you too." she said back softly, and although there was a hint of teasing in her voice, he knew that she was telling the truth, and that made him want to scream in happiness _(but he doesn't because that would be a little embarrassing) _so he just settles for kissing her and then just hours later the entire mall in buzzing with the news that he'd finally told her and it's more than a little embarrassing when they cheer when they see him kiss her again while they're in the food court the day after _(but that doesn't stop him from doing it again and again)._

* * *

_**"Now most of the time we'd have too much to drink  
And we'd laugh at the stars and share everything.  
Too young to notice and too dumb to care,  
Love was a story that couldn't compare."**_

"It looks like a pancake"

How they'd gotten from the practice room to the park a little away from the mall, neither Austin or Ally knew. All they knew was that it was incredibly easy to drink a little too much and that they couldn't see the stars from inside _(so their logic was to wander around outside until they found a patch of grass outside that they could lie on). _They could actually see the stars now, and had spent the last 10 minutes lying on the ground, hands interlocked and finding constellations and images in the starsalthough all Austin had really seen was pancakes so _far (he was never any good at cloud watching either). _

"You think everything looks like a pancake" Ally scoffed slightly.

"That's because pancakes are perfect...just like you!" Austin says giddily, turning to face her

"That was really cheesy." Ally answers, turning so their foreheads were touching.

"I know." and then there's silence before they both suddenly burst out laughing. They're not exactly sure why they're laughing so hard but it feels really really good and they feel so carefree and happy.

But then it doesn't feel good because their tummies hurt from laughing so hard and they're struggling to breathe. Anyone walking by would think they were mad _(which is debatable),_ seeing them rolling around, clutching their stomachs and panting heavily but they don't really care because they're enjoying themselves _(and they may be on the more tipsy side of the scale). _

When they're finally got their breath back _(and have stopped looking like excitable puppies)_ and have calmed down a little they return to their earlier position.

"I heard a rumour" Ally suddenly says and Austin drags his eyes from the sky and looks at her, although she doesn't look at him. He furrows his eyebrows but allows her to continue.

"They said that a while ago, just before you first met me, you were in love with a girl who broke your heart." She pauses for a second and Austin tenses "and that when you and I started hanging out you were still in love with her" and this time Austin's grip tightens on her hand. "and I was just wondering whether you only were interested in me because you wanted to get over her and that was the quickest way." she finishes. She knows it shouldn't be a big deal, and it really isn't and in any other circumstance she wouldn't have said anything, but right now she's a little drunk so she isn't exactly thinking rationally.

Austin's grip on her hand is now unbreakable, as he feels a surge of anger and guilt that she would ever think that she was just a replacement or a tool to get over someone. She finally meets his eyes, and they way he's looking at her makes the doubts lmost completely disappear

"Ally Dawson, you were and never will be my rebound. You are the only person that I ever want to be with and I plan to make a life with you as soon as I can" and then her doubts have completely disappeared and she's grinning like an idiot but it's okay though because they probably won't remember this _later (although she does and decides to keep that promise forever)_.

"You know what that one looks like?" Austin asks after a moment of comfortable silence.

"Let me guess, a pancake?" Ally observes dryly but Austin shakes his head, laughing slightly

"It looks like a bunny on a bicycle" he says completely seriously and she punches him on the shoulder, managing to choke out

"it's a bit late!" before bursting into laughter (_remembering their disastrous cloud watching date in which he'd fallen asleep)_ and he grins _(remembering how much he enjoyed getting her so worked up). _

"You're the worst." she sighs leaning her head on his shoulder and he smiles because he knows what she really means and he replies

"So are you" and squeezes her hand slightly, just to make sure she's still there and that she's real _(because sometimes it's hard to tell). _

* * *

"_**I said girl can I tell you a wonderful thing?  
I made you a present with paper and string,  
open with care now, I'm asking you please,  
you know that I love you, will you marry me?"**_

Austin decides to take Dez with him ring shopping although he regrets it within 5 minutes of walking into the jewellers _(surprisingly the repeated singing of the line "I think I want to marry youuuu" had gotten old pretty quickly). _So imagine how he felt after an hour of looking and rings, while having your best friend singing obnoxiously in your ear the entire time. He's honestly losing the will to live after wandering aimlessly around various jewellers around the mall, seeing nothing that was exactly what he was looking for.

"In the movies the guy always sees one ring in particular and it sums up everything they feel about the girl they want to marry, whereas the only thing I'm feeling right now is a headache." Austin groans as he and Dez enter yet another jewellery shop, dragging his feet slightly. All he wants to do is marry the girl of his dreams, why is that so hard to do?

Dez suggests that he get her a haribo ring instead _(it's the thought that counts after all),= _but Austin decides against it. And then finally when he's about to give up for the day he sees it. It hasn't got a ridiculously big crystal on it, but it's delicate and intricate beautiful and he thinks it matches Ally perfectly so he drives home that day with this special present in his coat pocket, which he then transfers to his sock drawer for safe keeping. Now he just needs to muster up the courage to actually pop the question, and by the question he means to ask permission from her dad.

It's not like they didn't get on, because they really did, in fact Lester Dawson couldn't think of anyone he had ever trusted enough to take care of his daughter. But Austin was still nervous as hell when asking him _(because he parents are really important to Ally). _He really did have nothing to worry about, and Lester had only taken a split second to start beaming, clap him on the back and offer Austin his upmost support (_it was safe to say Austin breathed a lot easier after that). _

And then he gives her the box, that he'd wrapped up carefully the night before, and he's bending down and he says some words, that sounded vaguely like 'love' and 'marry' and 'me', before there is silence. And for a second he knows that she's basically holding his heart in her hand and he really doesn't want her to drop it and _why is she not saying anything? _It's okay though because after the silence there's screaming and crying and then there's a giggling Ally throwing herself into his arms in excitement. It looks like she was keeping a firm grip on that heart of his.

And she's still got it when they tell his parents _(they cried). _

And she's still got it when they say "I do" to one another (_more crying)_.

And she's still got it when she's holding their new born son in her arms and he feels like the proudest man in the world _(the crying that day wasn't just from their baby son)_.

It might just be something to do with the fact that she gave him her heart for safe keeping to.

* * *

_**"She said, boy can I tell you a terrible thing**_

_**It seems I am sick, and I've only got weeks**_

_**Please don't be sad now, I really believe**_

_**You were the greatest thing that ever happened to me"**_

There wasn't anything particularly special about that day. Austin had been thinking about possibly asking Ally if she wanted to go round to Dez's with him but then he walks down the stairs and sees her crying with her head in her hands on the couch, so everything is forgotten. He runs over to her and without a word wraps his arms around her and cradles her body to his chest, digging his nose into her hair and whispering comfort in her ear.

They sit like that for a while until the crying subdues into the occasional hiccup and she reluctantly moves from his arms and turns away. She rubs her eyes with her jacket sleeves and tries to hide her face but then he lightly grips her wrist and turns her back towards him, question in his eyes.

The only thing in her eyes is sadness and he wipes an escaping tear from her cheek, his eyebrows knitted together in worry.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asks, taking his hand away from her cheek.

She sniffs a few times before taking a shaky breath.

"You know that check up, I went to a few weeks ago?" she says, her voice cracking and shaking

Austin frowns and wonders what that has to do with anything.

"Well...they- they said that-" She has to take another breath and closes her eyes to stop the tears escaping her eyes. With her eyes still shut she whispers one sentence and Austin doesn't realise what she has said until a few seconds later.

"I only have weeks to live." and everything goes darks for a second in Austin's mind and all he can hear is his own heartbeat drumming and thumping in his ears. Then a moment later he's comes back to earth and tries to speak but he can't because his throat and lips have gone dry and each swallow feels suffocating.

She still has her eyes closed but they fly open when she feels his hand on her cheek again but he doesn't seem to be looking at her, caught up in his thought like he used to when they were younger.

She smiles slightly in sadness at how little has changes and she tells him not to be sad and that everything is going to be okay _(but the tears in her eyes say otherwise). _

And then she tells him that she doesn't want to leave him and everything they've been through makes it so much harder to say goodbye but she wouldn't change a thing because he was the greatest thing that ever happened to her.

And then she doesn't say anything because she starts to cry and Austin tries to wipe away the tears but he can't because his vision is getting blurry and his hands are starting to shake.

"Please..." He manages to choke out "Please, don't leave me" and as his voice cracks so does Ally's heart because she never wanted to see him this way, let alone be the cause of it. And in that moment, with his knees pressed against his chest tightly, he looks like a little boy again, so lost and alone. Ally tries to say something, to reassure him but she can't speak either, the lump in her throat is too much.

She manages to mutter out a quiet

"I have no choice" before she has to swallow the tears again.

"but there's- there's no way I- I- can make it without you" Austin stutters out, evidently still in shock and disbelieving that the love of his life won't be around for much longer. After all they'd been through, that was it? She was just going to get snatched away from him? He feels a surge of anger because he doesn't know why it has to happen to her. She's never done anything wrong in her entire life, why does she have to be punished? Alternatively Ally is asking why Austin had to be put through all this.

So for a moment they are both just sitting there, caught up in their own grief until Austin reaches for her hand that's in her lap and she looks up to see him, cheeks red and his eyes damp _(but still her Austin)_ and she cries even more. So Austin rubs his thumb in circles over the back of her hand and hugs her tight to his chest as the two just cry.

She had promised herself that she was going to be strong and try to keep it together but clutching her sobbing husband to her chest she knows in her heart that really she can't say it will be okay because it's hurting her so much even thinking of leaving.

Neither of them are in any state to do anything but then their baby son starts to cry upstairs so Ally stands up to go to him (_and when he sees her back retreating through the door he has to remind himself that she's going to come back. She isn't leaving him. Not yet)._

He sits there for a moment before following her up the stairs and leaning against the door way to their son's room where she's sitting on the rocking chair and singing quietly. Her voice is hoarse and she has to pause every few seconds to hold back the tears, but he still thinks she sounds beautiful.

She stops singing and starts to whisper to the little boy.

"I'm going to need you to look after daddy for me okay?" she says and Austin tries to keep himself from crying once again.

"You're going to grow up and be just like him, I'm sure."

She says with a watery smile, stroking his little cheek lightly and his eyelids start to flutter closed.

"I need you to be strong for me and remember that I love you both _so so_ much. More than you'll ever know." and she kisses him on his forehead as he finally drifts to sleep in her arms. She watches him for a second before standing up and gently placing him in his crib.

She looks up and smiles when she sees Austin in the doorway watching her. In a way she isn't really surprised to see him there.

"You really have got to stop doing that" she tries to joke and he cracks a small smile for her sake, although neither of them are in any mood to laugh.

She walks over to the doorframe where he's leaning and grabs his hand, gripping it tightly. He sees the look of sadness in her eyes although she's trying to hide it so he squeezes her hand, to comfort her or himself he wasn't quite sure _(he decides it was a bit of both.)_**  
**

* * *

A few weeks aren't long enough to say goodbye _(but then again there will never be enough time to prepare for letting go of someone you love_), so Austin decides that he won't. Ally says she wants to say her goodbye's one on one so reluctantly Austin stays at home and waits for her to return.

She tells her parents separately almost straight away and they both break down crying immediately.

Her dad is distraught for the most part but then he gets angry because he doesn't know why this had to happen to his little girl. His tears are a mix of sadness and anger. Her dad had raised her almost alone and she could never thank him enough for all he did for her.

She remembers a time when she was little and had fallen over when playing outside and was crying so hard because there was blood all over her knee and she was all alone in the park. She was screaming but then her very own superhero came and swooped her up and fixed her up with a Thomas The Tank Engine plaster on her knee and let her have ice cream for tea because she was still a bit shaken up. He was at every one of her piano recitals and always cheered the loudest _(which she always complained about saying it was embarrassing, but secretly she liked it)._ Her dad reassured her that she was awesome when her friend in kindergarten stopped talking to her and when her mom had to leave he made sure to remind her everyday how much they both loved her even if they weren't together anymore. He always held her when she cried and he was always her superhero.

This time the roles were reversed. She hated seeing her father so vulnerable and broken because of her and she hated even more that there was nothing she could do about it.

She had to say goodbye to her mother through a camera. She was still in Africa and was overjoyed when she got one of the rare calls from her busy daughter. The joy quickly turned into heartbreak and Ally saw her mother try to stay strong but fall apart in front of her and there was nothing she could do because they were thousands of miles apart.

When her mom had first left she was distraught and she was confused. She didn't know why she had to go so far away. Did she have no reason to stay when her parents split up? Was she not enough? For a while she couldn't escape these thoughts but then when they would video chat every weekend Ally realised that her mom was happy there, and that in turn made her happy too. Although she was so far away, Penny was always the one she went to for advice on everything. She was the first one she told about meeting Austin and she was the first one she told about them getting married too. Overall their mother was as much involved in Austin and Ally's relationship as the two themselves. They missed one another a lot and her mom always knew how to fix things, whether it was a broken guitar string or a broken heart. But this time they both knew that there was no way to fix it what was happening.

Her mom cried for a long time and wanted to fly out and see her but there weren't any available flights out to the US until a week later, they just hoped they had that much time. They prayed that Ally could hold on that little bit longer.

The last time Ally saw her mother was through a little screen.

* * *

Trish had always been the strong one in their friendship so it's odd for Ally to see her looking so helpless.

Ally remembers the countless sleepover the two had had when they were younger and the hours they had spent staying up until 3 in the morning, talking about anything and everything.

She remembers the time Trish had beaten up Randy Smithson after he'd stolen Ally's lunch during middle school and in that same year Trish broke the nose of a mean girl who had called Ally a boy because she had cut her hair shorter and wore baggy boy clothes. Trish has said that at least Ally's hair didn't look like a poodle that had got stuck in a tumble _dryer (the teasing stopped almost immediately)._ Trish had always been there to protect her, but in the same way Ally protected and helped Trish. She stopped her from getting into too much trouble at school, helped fix her broken heart when her loser boyfriend cheated on her and reassured her that no, there was no such thing as 'too much zebra print'. They'd been like sisters for the majority of their lives so to be parted it felt like they were losing half of themselves.

Trish, who never showed any weakness, had never felt so exposed but she couldn't bring herself to care because this was her best friend that she was losing; Her sister. And one thing really Trish hated was not being in control so the fact that there was nothing she could say or do that could make her best friend stay with her. She didn't know what she'd do without her other half and the thought of it alone made a lump rise in her throat and her feel like she was drowning.

Ally wishes that she knew what to say in order to stop Trish from hurting but she had nothing. She just hugs her tightly and rubs her best friends back as she sobs, while allowing her own tears to escape too while Trish starts to ramble to herself

"You're supposed to be my maid of honour at my wedding, and the one who tells me that 'I'm not fat, I'm pregnant' and be my child's godmother" she starting to hiccup uncontrollably at this point.

"And you'd be Aunt Ally and we'd go on joint family holidays and we'd complain about our husbands together when they're not in, even though we love them really." she's starting to become hysterical and Ally squeezes her eyes tightly shut because this is killing her inside more than any illness ever could.

"Why did this have to happen to you! I don't understand!" Trish almost screams and her sobbing breaks out, inhibiting her from speaking and Ally breaks down too.

An hour or so later Trish is starting to calm down now, shallow breathing slows down and she takes a few deep breaths

"We're supposed to be best friends forever and ever, remember?" she whispers and Ally thinks back to when they were little and had made a pinkie promise

"When did forever become a few weeks?" Trish finishes and then falls asleep in Ally's arms, while the girl in question smiles sadly because she honestly has no idea.

* * *

Dez had never been the most serious person in the world and was normally pretty slow at picking up on things but this time he knew exactly what was happening. His normally bubbly and carefree personality was almost switched off immediately and he grabbed the petite brunette by the shoulders and pulled her into a tight hug. It's a bit of a surprise but Ally can't help but smile and wrap her arms around his shoulders.

"But who's going to talk me out of my crazy ideas now?" He murmurs sadly into her shoulder and that's what makes her start to cry.

She remembers when Austin first introduced her to the guy she now considered to be her brother because Dez was trying to cook burgers on a xylophone, which is a pretty unforgettable thing.

Dez was the one danced with her when Austin was away on tour and she had to go to her cousins wedding. He made sure to follow Austin's instructions that Ally should be kept away from anyone who looked suspicious so had stayed with her the entire night.

Dez was the one who started doing the robot and the chicken dance so she didn't feel so embarrassed of her dance moves.

Dez was the one who drove her to the hospital to give birth and stayed with her holding her hand until Austin ran in, sweaty and worried, after abandoning a performance mid way through. He really was the older brother she never had and she only wanted the best for him.

"There's nothing wrong with being a little crazy now and again." She finally answers after her tears have dampened his shirt slightly.

When they eventually pull apart Ally sees that his eyes are damp too and his expression is one of heartbreak. Many tears later when she's about to leave, Ally looks like she's about to say something but then stops herself suddenly.

Dez smiles slightly as if he already knew what she was going to say.

"I'll make sure he's fine. I promise" Ally doesn't know how he knew that she was worrying about Austin but smiles gratefully anyway and just hugs him tightly.

"I'll miss you BFF" she whispers and she feels him shake with laughter which makes her happy because she's had enough sadness to last her a lifetime. She doesn't want to think about how long that will actually be.

* * *

"_**Slow, so slow, I fell to the ground on my knees"**_

They try to do everything they ever planned to do with one another like but Austin thinks that her last day was the best. She was getting tired and wasn't up for doing much so they stayed at home. Just them and their little boy and it was perfect because it was simple and normal _(and they could imagine their entire life being like this). _

They wish that day could have lasted forever but then, at around 9 pm, Austin knows that their time has run out. So he calls Trish to look after their son and takes Ally to the hospital, all the while praying for God to give them more time. He's not ready to say goodbye.

Everything seems to happen so quickly and it's almost like he's been dreaming this whole time, but now Ally's in a hospital bed, with him in a pulled up chair beside her, and she looks incredibly pale and vulnerable. He just wants to wrap her up and keep her forever but he knows he can't and she's going to leave him.

The nurses that had previously been flitting around give him a sympathetic glance as they leave the room as if they know that it's time. As much as he wants to deny it he knows it too and so does Ally. He slips his hand under hers and she tries to sit up so she can see him properly but he stops her so she turns her head on her pillow to look at him.

He kisses her on the forehead and her eyes flutter closed for a second and she smiles. With all her energy she reaches to touch his cheek and smiles, although there are tears in her eyes.

""You're the bright side to everyday," She sings quietly, her voice is a whisper now.

"Me without you just isn't the same." Austin finishes shakily .

She breathes a laugh and he smiles back at her because they would be that cliché and sing to each other at a time like this. And for a second he feels happy seeing her smiling, because let's be honest that's all ways been his favourite thing about her.

But then her grip starts to loosen on his hand and he knows that she's slipping away from him and there's absolutely nothing he can do about it. Still he sits there, at her side, until her hand grows cold in his and there's a flurry of movement around him as the nurses flood in to check what's happening. One of them checks her pulse, but Austin already knows that she won't find one, though he can't help but hope. Hope that her heart will start beating again because he can't believe this is really happening.

But then he hears someone say her heart has stopped and he's pretty certain his has too.

Everything is quiet and he expects to feel something. And for a second there's an unbelievable shoot of pain in his chest and he physically falls to the floor on his knees. But then he feels empty, like a part of him is missing and there, kneeling on the floor by her side, he cries.

He cries for each day he'll never hear her voice again. He cries for every morning that he'll wake up without her by his side. He cries because she's gone. He can't bring himself to make any noise as he cries, too caught up in anguish, and the only sound is of his heart shattering into pieces. He doesn't know how he's going to carry on _(but he does) _

* * *

He picks his shattered heart up from the floor and he manages to somehow reassemble it with the help of Thomas The Tank Engine plasters and bed time songs and 'I love you dad's'.

Sure there are a few cracks and dents and there's still a bit of an ache in his chest, but he manages to live his life as happy as he can, because he knows that's what she would have wanted, but he still hurts. But he has a son so he has to be strong.

And then when he says his first word and it isn't mummy, like it should have been, Austin feels a wave of sadness. And then when he wants to learn to play the piano, Austin can't help but think that Ally should be the one teaching him. And when he's graduating he's acutely aware of the empty seat next to him and he misses her so much.

But on the other hand when their baby boy says his first word, daddy, Austin knows she's smiling down at them and would be happy. And then when he's not really a baby anymore and says he wants to learn the piano Austin knows that she'll be encouraging him during every recital and performance. And then when their son gets too old for hanging out with dad on the weekends and is graduating high school, Dez and Trish sit with him and he knows that Ally is just as proud as he is of their little boy _(who really isn't so little anymore_) but he still misses her so much.

And when Dez names his first child Ally he gets a bit teary, but other than that he doesn't cry all the time anymore because he knows she wouldn't like that. So he smiles and he laughs and he sings the songs they wrote together because it makes him feel like she's still with him somehow.

Many years later when he's clearing out the attic _(because what else is there to do on a Sunday afternoon when the house is empty because your only child is officially an adult)_ he finds something. Behind the millions of boxes that have been gathering dust remarkably he finds a box of Ally's childhood photos and he spends a long time laughing at her tomboy stage when she was in middle school and her baby pictures in which she's grinning gummily. Then he's reached the last picture in the box and he has to look twice just to make sure it is what he thinks it is. He can see a little brunette girl looking terrified and holding onto a blond boy's hand and Austin can't help but smile.

And when his son and his family come to visit and his grandchildren ask why he has a grainy looking kindergarten class photo on the fridge he tells them all about a little girl in pigtails who used to always laugh at his jokes. They ask if he misses her and he says he does very much and he tells them that unfortunately he had lost her, but that one day he is _certain_ that he's going to see her again and he can't wait for that moment to arrive.

"_**but son, I'm only telling you this**_

_**because life can do terrible things"**_

**A/N: if you made it to the end you get a gold star and if you want you can let me know what you think by reviewing. Or you can let me know on twitter ( ughadorkable). **


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